What's for dinner?

I made a decent last minute dinner last night...I browned and seasoned some ground turkey and combined it with a package of Trader Joe's Quinoa w/ Vegetable Melange. Total cost for 2 people? About $5. Healthy comfort food.

A Very Owens Christmas

It's been quiet around here...but that's because it's been incredibly busy the last few weeks. I took my first Christmas vacation in a long time last week. Stopped in Chicago to visit grandma and some of Chris' friends, and had a great time cramming it all into two days...then drove to Potosi, MO to visit his dad and a few relatives. Then...off to Springfield to meet more relatives and celebrate Christmas. Very fun trip, with lots of driving and eating mixed in. I don't' know how to wrap it up in a blog post, but suffice it to say it was relaxing and tiring at the same time, and we are still on good terms after spending a week in the car together.

Week...and weekend

Yes, it is only Tuesday, but I'm an optimist. Weekend is on the way. Chris left for another trip this morning, and he has another lined up nmext week...this weekend, we're driving to Cinci for a party with some of his friends. As for myself, I'm going nowhere this week or next week, so I'll be a little more rested than him in a week or so. So there.

I'm looking forward to enjoying the holidays with him. It's the polar opposite of how things have been for the past few years...with my ex, holidays were a time of stress...his family put such demands on us, and there was always the game of who was or wasn't talking to whom this year, and we were expected to play along, lest we wind up on the wrong side of somebody's temper. Good times.

This week, I REALLY need to get the house ready for winter, it has snuck up on me this year. I will get most of it done tonight...nothing huge, just sealing windows and putting up storm windows, and checking for drafts, and making sure the beer is still cold in the doiwnstairs fridge. Priorities.

Tree

Chris and I put the tree up this weekend...now it's Christmas!

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Dad

I had a dream about dad last night that I had to get down in writing. We were at a pub, mom, dad and I. It was a weird place (hey it was a dream after all) set up like it was a converted house, with rooms and hallways everywhere. Irish theme, with strings of lights decorating everything. Many rooms had little bars that only sat a few people.
Anyway, I remember I'd gotten up to find dad, he'd left us to go to the bathroom or something and it had been a while. I remember walking through many rooms, not finding anything. Then I turned a corner, and there he was, wearing his little cap, staggering a bit, obviously had a lot to drink. He saw me and he smiled, and put his arm around my shoulder and said "It's so good to see you again".

And then I woke up.

Follow up

The weekend get together went off without a hitch. Everything tasted great, had plenty of fun people over, and...well, what else could you want? Perfect.

Early Hump Day

As this is a 3 day work week, today is officially hump day. And what a hump. I'm heading up to NE Ohio for a public hearing tonight...the room holds a bit over 400 people, I'm hoping it's not a sellout. Lucky I'm wearing comfy shoes today, and I'll have a few staff members with me to ease the burden. Usually I'm on my own for these gigs, signing people in to testify, giving out info, trying not to roll my eyes. At the very least, it's overtime, coming right before the holidays, so win!

I'm wrapping up the menu for Saturday, poring over cookbooks and food blogs for ideas. I think we're set. Chris is mking a green bean casserole...I'll gladly defer to him for that, I've never made one that was worth eating.

Decisions

Yes, another food post...

I wanted to make some sort of pear dessert, like something poached and drizzled with syrup. Sounds good, but also labor-intensive, and they can't be made ahead of time. I'll have enough to do as it is. I don't like the idea of trying to find 20 minutes to peel pears right when everything is going to be served. So, the pears need a new job.

I also have a rather large quantity of cranberries I bought at Costco. I was planning on a nice sauce, but I have enough berries to make about 5 gallons of it. So I've got a little extra supply.

How about...pear-cranberry pie?

Menu

Making a basic list of menu items...
- Turkey, duh
- apple sausage stuffing
- mashed potatoes
- sweet potatoes
- cranberries
- green bean casserole
- brussel sprouts (my friend Jenni's bacon grease recipe)
- rolls from scratch
- something else bready, foccacia or cheesy breadsticks
- a pie or three
- glazed pears

Can you tell what's on my mind this week?

Timeslips and Stuffing

I wonder why it is that the older we get, the faster time seems to move. I know that it's linear, and fixed, and a minute is a minute is a minute. Still. How the holy hell is it late November already? I'm still thinking in my head I need to buy summer clothes.
But late November means approaching holidays, which means...Thanksgiving. You can think what you want about it, or how strange a holiday it is. To me, it's all about the food and watching bad movies. The dats is fast approaching, and I have yet to give any thought to what to make. I'm not bothered, I thrive under pressure. I need a bunch of random items, like a bucket for brining the turkey, and a decent turkey baster that doesn't spray molten butter all over my pants when used. Somehow I keep forgetting to get that. I'm having a small group over this time, but I still don't know where they'll all sit. The toilets do have padded seats, so that's an option.
I've got a decent list of recipes of things I like to make, so I'll start going through that and hash together some sort of menu this week. Can you tell I'm a little stoked?

Chili Defined

Okay, I stumbled upon the best ingredient for chili ever. Chorizo sausage. Chris had some in a breakfast burrito saturday morning, which reminded me of this little culinary treat available locally at Giant Eagle, and probably most halfway decently stocked grocery stores by now. I'd bought some earlier this year, but didn't really have a good use for it, I made a shepherd's pie with it, but didnt' really come up with much else. You can use it anywhere a recipe calls for ground sausage. My TG stuffing will never be the same.

Okay, onto the chili...this is my basic recipe I've been honing for a while, the sausage really gave it a nice flavor. If you want to leave out the meat for vegetarian, you can do that as well, but you'll make me cry.

Ingredients:
1 lb ground turkey
2 links chorizo, skin removed
1 tbsp butter
1 large sweet onion
1 bell pepper (I used red, but up to you)
1-2 jalepeno peppers (I used 2)
5-6 tomatoes, probably equivalent to 3 cans diced
2 tbsp chili powder
2 tbsp brown sugar
1 tbsp ground cumin
1 bottle stout beer
1 can tomato paste
2 cans chili beans
salt and pepper to taste (Mine didn't need much at all)

Directions:
- Brown turkey and chorizo, breaking up into smaller chunks as you go. Spoon meat into stock pot.
- Dice onion and add to pan used for meat, along with butter, sautee uintil onion starts to brown. Add to the meat.
- Dice tomatoes and peppers, and add to the stock pot.
- Add all remaining ingredients, and bring to boil on stove. Once boiling, reduce heat, cover and simmer for 1 hour, stirring occasionally.
- Remove lid and let simmer for another 30 minutes, or until it reaches desired consistency.

Android

So. I joined the ranks of the smartphone world when I became eligible for an upgrade. Love it.

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Barbie Queue

Well, I decided to throw a little shindig and cookout tomorrow, before it starts to snow and we're all trapped indoors for 4 months. The weather should be decent for it according to the latest info. I'm going to try making apple pie for it, we'll see how that goes. I don't think I've made a pie other than pumpkin from a can...to quote Jeremy Clarkson, how hard can it be?

My First Time

Well, my accident free record is over. I ran into someone on the drive in this morning. It was about as minor as it could be, but I was upset over it. I doubt they'll file any sort of claim, as their car didn't have a mark on it - the only casualty appeared to be my mildly mangled license plate...but that didn't stop the passenger from jumping out and complaining about a headache almost as soon as we stopped moving. Her husband seemed a little more rational, and he was awfully pleased that his car had no visible damage.
I got off lucky. I think.

Week

That one guy (you know the one) is out of town on business this week. He's going to be out of town on business during the week for the next 3 weeks in a row. He decided he wanted to spend more time together until this little stretch started, so he's been staying at my place for the past week.
I haven't blogged much about my feelings on the situation lately, not by design. But things are...well, I don't believe in perfection, but it's going really well. We don't smother each other with affection - neither one of us has a tendency to be overly sweet. But I know how he feels about me, and vice versa. It's getting to that cool/slightly creepy phase where you realize that you can start predicting some of the other person's actions and words, because they're ingrained on you to that extent. Nobody likes being called predictable, but everyone has their routines and habits. I like it. Definitely interested in seeing where this leads. Now if we can only control our desires for bad food...

Joys of Homeownership

I swear, I will never be done with basement issues here. Went downstairs today on my day off to watch a little tv and relax...and was greeted by a not very pleasant aroma. Turns out the floor drain by the train layout had overflowed, and from the look of it it was from the bathroom upstairs. Fun. I went to Lowe's and bought the most caustic drain cleaning chemicals I could find - the same ones that worked wonders on the kitchen several months ago. This time, not so lucky. I went back to Lowe's bought a drain auger and a plumber's wrench the size of a horse's leg, and returned home. After about 20 fruitless minutes of trying to loosen the cleanout plug so that I could gaze upon the horrors inside, I had second thoughts about trying to tackle this myself. I returned those and bought a test plug for the drain, which keeps about 90% of the water and 100% of the 'debris' from coming out. Then cleaned up the awful mess on the floor, and bleached the hell out of everything that had been touched by water. Then I went to Giant Eagle, bought myself a nice pint of Ben and Jerry's, and returned home to look up plumbers to call in tomorrow. I'm not going in there by myself with only a Bob Vila video for guidance.

Best Pot Roast Ever

I made this tonight...it's a combination of a few different recipes I've culled from different sites...seriously good.

Ingredients:
- Beef chuck roast, ~3lb
- 1 cup tomato juice
- 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
- 1 large onion, chopped
- 1/2 cup raisins
- mustard, any variety

Rub:
- 1/2 cup brown sugar
- 3 tbsp paprika
- 1 tbsp onion powder
- 1 tbsp garlic powder
- 1 tbsp ground cumin
- 1 tbsp dried oregano
- 1 tbsp cayenne pepper
- 1 tbsp black pepper
- 1 tsp salt

==========================
- rub roast with mustard to cover; combine rub ingredients and...rub into the roast
- place into slow cooker on high heat, or into 225 degree oven in small pan. let cook untouched for 3 hours.
- after this time, add chopped onion, raisins, tomato juice and vinegar. cook for an additional 2 hours or until fork tender (internal temp 190).
- prepare to get laid after making this for someone. This could be awkward if it's for a family gathering.

Win?

I received notice from GM that my Vibe is part of the recall that I blogged about a month or so ago. Apparently the mass mailings went out this week, as the owner's forum I read is full of comments about it. All it really says is yes, your car will need work, but parts aren't available now, and your dealer will let you know when they are. No time frame is given at all. Weeks? Months? At least I know I'm in their records - I wasn't sure how such a thing would work for me the thing being buying a secondhand car from a defunct car brand. I'll give it until Nov. 1 and then start calling around for an update.

Middle

2.9 days down, 2 to go. The weather is finally starting to shift away from the never-ending summer heat this year. My love of hibernation is crepping back...nothing like being snuggled under the covers on a cold morning. But it's not all rosy - I need to start watching my calories, the combination of less activity and recently ramped up food intake could spell trouble if I'm not careful. I spent years working this off, I'll be damned if I put it right back on. Part of that is dating...I will admit, I'm less vigilant about diet when I'm involved. But who isn't? Still, that's no excuse. Time to banish cookies and ice cream from the kitchen I'm afraid...sniff.

Memory Lane

Another weekend is in the books...friday was a bit of a mixed bag...we watned to attend the concert, but the weather wasn't the best for standing outdoors for several hours...so Chris and I joined brand and Scotty for a little sushi at Haiku. After that, we still had a bit of a concert bug, so we drove up to check it out. There was a large crowd, but Weezer still wasn't on stage - over 2 hours after it started? Shortly after we arrived, an intermission started. We weren't really feeling it, so we decided ot go check out a movie instead. Watched "The Town" - much better choice.
Saturday was the Microbrew Festival at the North Market - so much fun, so many nice beards - I forgot which we were there to check out. The evening was spent entering a food coma of shame. No regrets.
Sunday was a lot of fun...I couldn't really decide on a course of action - I wanted to get out, since we'd spent the entire night before parked on the couch. Chris suggested a road trip to Cinci, to check out his old haunts and visit Ikea. Sold. I had a great time, he lived there for about 9 years, so lots of memories to share - I've been there a few times, and kept getting reminded of places I'd been or seen before. I still couldn't find my way around that city to save my life. We finished off with dinner at probably the best Indian restaurant I've ever visited. So much fun. Two days was not enough.

Cough...Wheeze

Attending a free Weezer concert tonight with Chris and a friend. Hoping the weather cooperates, it sounds like it might be turning bad right around concert time.
Tomorrow should be a lot of fun, planning on a long enjoyable day with a few peeps. We may partake of a couple different culinary temptations/disasters if the mood strikes; I'm guessing it will.

Hope

A friend of mine posted this video on Facebook, along with this message:

My mom has been pretty sick for awhile. Last night, on “One Tree Hill,” they showed a video for a new song by Amy Kuney called, “Hope a Little Harder.” It is a montage of pictures and short video clips in which people express what they hope for. And there, about 3:10 in, is my beautiful nephew, Will, in his dorm room at college. He holds up his hand, and written on his palm is, “I hope that my Grandma gets better.” Of all the things that a teenage boy could wish for..... Made me cry just a little.

That is beyond beautiful. I hope his mom is having a restful night of sleep.

Mmm

If you told me I'd make pizza with squash, I would have told you that you were crazy. But you know what? It was pretty damn good.

Bbq Bug

I'm getting the itch to have one big end of season cookout. I have a large pork shoulder sitting in the freezer, just begging to be seasoned and thrown over some coals. At this point, it looks like October is the timeframe. Mmm...pork.

Wedding Review

Chris and I went together to the wedding this past weekend, had a great time with the extended family. It was the usual boozy blowout that's to be expected at these sort of gatherings. We missed out on the free prostate exams, but other than that we were in the thick of things there. Last night he said that he loves my family. Which is good, because if he couldn't stand them it would make get-togethers a little awkward and painful.

Overall it went very smoothly...it rained a bit during the outdoor ceremony, and there was a power outage for about 2 hours at the start of the reception, but the beer was still cold and the food was still hot, so no worries. Congrats to Josh and Lindsay!

Traveling Sideshow

This is a day of goodbyes...

Loverboy is leaving for a business trip this morning. If absence makes the heart grow fonder, then it follows that I'll like him even more on Friday when he returns. Is that possible?

Bethany and Richard are also leaving today...returning home after about 1.5 weeks in the states. I got to see them twice over the course of their visit. Usually it boils down to one hurried evening in a pub or restaurant. We didn't manage a Waffle House visit this time, but hopefully they were able to squeeze one in on the way to the airport. Need to schedule a trip over the pond to visit, and soon.

Wedding

I can't believe my niece is getting married this weekend. I remember her coming down to Columbus to help me move into my first apartment when she was all of, oh, 3 years old? Amazing how time flies. She had a fairly restless childhood, being shuttled constantly between parent's and grandparent's homes - what you'd define as her home environment was in a constant state of flux. But if you met her, you'd never think she came from anything but the most loving and stable background possible. I'm amazed at how she has really struck out on her own and become her own person. She's not looking back, or settling for anything. Proud of her.

Weekend

Another Labor Day rolls up...I have fond memories of doing as little as possible on this last summer weekend. It's been a stressful week at work, so a little break is very welcome right now. This year brings one, possibly two cookouts on tap, and a Monday fairly free at the moment. Relaxation. Bring it on.

90210

Yes, that is today. Discuss.

Tippecanoe

Few things are better than a lazy afternoon spent paddling downriver in a canoe. The better things require less clothing or more food. Chris kept threatening that his Native American alter ego (post title) might appear - I thought my family was the only one with native ties - but I think it was the fear of mutually assured destruction that prevented an appearance. Next year (or maybe late this season) I need a proper camping weekend revolving around a little boat.

Simplicity

I believe in free will. I've never believed in fate. I don't like the idea that I'm not in charge of my actions and decisions. I don't subscribe to religion, unless you count the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Why am I on this train of thought? Because I think I've really found something special with Chris. And not because it was supposed to happen, or because it was inevitable or some other nonsense. I think it was just one of those chance events where you happen to be in the right place at the right time. If we'd met years ago, or years from now, we probably wouldn't have been open to the opportunity, or not available to explore it. I definitely think I've found someone who is on the same path that I am. Or at least in the same neck of the woods.

IIRC

I left the Honda family earlier this year, after driving them exclusively (and largely without complaint) since 1993. The biggest repair I had over those 17 years and 3 cars was replacing the starter on my Legend at about 150k miles. A replacement was about $50 from a junkyard. Miss that car...sniff. Anyway.

After test driving at least a dozen cars this past January, and seeing what kind of deals I could get - or not - I wound up with a 2005 Pontiac Vibe (aka Toyota Matrix)...so far, it's been a good experience.

Well, it looks like there may be a recall coming for mine...this was announced today for Corolla and Matrix models from the same model year as my Vibe. I probably won't be far behind, since the same parts are under my hood.

I have noticed an occasional hard start issue when the engine is warm. It's more of a long cranking period than a refusal to start. I wonder now if that's an indicator of the defective ECM...some owner's forums have talked about this issue, the remedy is apprently an ECM swap. Will they include the Vibe in this recall? Guess I'll find out!

Update...yup.

Cycles

Ouroboros


This symbol signifies so much in our current society. Park 51 is funded by a major stakeholder in Fox News...the biggest cheerleader stirring up outrage over the project. With the laundry list of things that we have to face and handle today, not after the next election cycle, it's really frustrating to see the discourse circling around such a non-issue.

Case of the Mondays

And another weekend slips from imagination into memory. Fairly low-key...Chris and I went to a dinner party friday night hosted by my friend Jeremy and his euphemism Dale. Indulgent food, and fun people to chat away with for an evening. Saturday we went to his company picnic, at the home of a coworker of his. The place is called the Agler House...formerly a stop on the Underground Railroad. Very cool place, with more history within its walls than half of the city combined. Saturday we were cajoled into going to the big Homo block party...one thing I like about Chris is that he eschews crowded scenes about as much as I do. But it was good to see a few friends, and enjoy the Fabulous Johnson Bros in concert...their lead singer Aaron is so very easy on the eyes. The talent on hand for the stage shows was apparently all brought by them, as the quality of the acts went on a steady decline from there...the rain didn't send people home, but one memorably miserable act caused half of the attendees to run for the hills covering their ears, us included. At least it was free.
Sunday was again low key...eating and napping were big events. Nice. We went to a going away party in the evening for Paul, who I dated back in the late 90s. I was relieved that Chris wasn't hung up about going - acutally he was the one who remembered it last night. It was a nice little gathering, we just stopped in briefly for a drink and to say hello/goodbye to Paul and his husband. Paul said he still owed me from our parting of the ways...not sure how he intends to make good on that. Shrug.

Anniversary

Today would have been mom and dad's 44th wedding anniversary. Now THAT was some hair.

Resolve

Now with extra stain fighters.

I just realized that today marks 5 months since I decided to break the cycle and stop smoking. I bought my last pack on March 19...once that was gone, that was that. I would bum one occasionally or have a puff from somebody's here and there, almost always when drinking. But that stopped after several weeks.
I wasn't a heavy smoker by the standards of the International Chain Smoking Institute, but since stopping I have noticed more lung capacity, and I no longer cough disturbing looking things up in the shower each morning. My skin also looks better, and I feel a lot better about myself without my conscience nagging me that I know better. And, I have an extra $20 or so in my pocket each week. Which isn't much, but that covers most of my lunch budget.

It's been a good year - got in shape again, stopped my nasty vile habit...progress!

Hump Day

Another...wednesday? I think. This week has been a blur for some reason, not in a bad way. You know those memories of big events in your life - the irst time you rode a bike without training wheels, or the first time you propelled yoruself through the water? And that warm feeling you get inside when they happen? I've been feeling like that for a couple of weeks now. And I like it. A lot. Staying grounded, but I feel like I'm starting a journey here with Chris. I'm being more optimistic about it than cautious in my mind lately. It's not that I really expected anything to develop, but it's happening on its own. That's something I was never good at in the past - I always had a tendency to put the cart before the horse, and rush into emotional/romantic situations before I knew if this was even somebody I could sit in the same room with for more than 90 minutes. We've spent a lot of time together in the last several weeks, and we've used that time to get to know each other. I appreciate him on many different levels - not just for one or two aspects, or purely for physical reasons. And I don't have to subjugate my interests, or delve into them on my own when I get a free moment - he and I do share a good number of common interests, which is a rare thing indeed for me. I can be myself - what a concept.
Usually at this point I'm finding out if this person is worth my time and effort, and if there's anything here worth pursuing. Signs absolutely point to yes. Feelings of falling in love have been brought up. That's generally a good sign. :)
He told me I'm nearly off probation, so I guess that means I can stop holding in gas or something.

Friday already?

Had a fun, pretty full week. I went to Hocking Hills last night with Chris and a few friends to check out the Perseid metoer shower...was pretty good for once - clear, not ungodly hot, relatively bug-free. Such an amazing event to witness...and it's free. People who say there's nothing to do need to step outside once in a while.
Tonight, having a little cookout wit the group from last night...nothing big, but trying a couple new dishes out. One thing I like about entertaining is it lets me have a little fun in the kitchen and experiement...plus, it's hard to really know how things come out when you're the only one tasting them - and it's fun to watch people enjoy what you've thrown together.

Poetry

I've been perusing a lot of poetry lately, my interest ebbs and flows...it's as if once in a while you get a need that only it can satisfy. I've tried my hand at it, but it's difficult for me to focus down to a central theme...besides, there's enough bad poetry clogging up the internet tubes already.

Anyway, the line "Time is the fire in which we burn" has haunted me for a long time since hearing it in a movie. I finally tracked down where it came from - a 20th century poet named Delmore Schwartz...the poem it comes from, "Calmly We Walk Through This April’s Day" is very good. Enjoy. And now I have a new poet's work to explore.

Summeriffic

Well, Chris' week, while not turning out 'good', didn't turn out as badly as it could have been. At least the agonizing is over for him.
We carried on and had a great weekend. Chris stopped over Friday night, we met some people for happy hour, then went to my place and watched Friday the 13th Part VII...the one with the guy who kills people. I'm too much of a pussy to be a follower of horror films, but I think I made it through without too much mental scarring.
The rest of the weekend was beautiful - the weather was perfect, so we spent it outdoors...visited Granville during the day, then had a cookout in the evening with a few friends - I made salsa and he made some incredibly good strawberry and peach shortcakes, then bummed around the Gallery Hop. Sunday was low key, a little hike and a quick movie at home were the highlights.
I have to say I'm getting very used to spending the weekends together with him. We share a lot of common interests, and we enjoy a similar pace to life - I generally leave my weekends unstructured, he seems to enjoy that approach too...so we usually just do whatever comes along, either on our own or with others. Ideal. I used to wonder whether we were spending too much time together on the weekends...now it feels like it's never enough.

Thoughts

Chris is having one hell of a shit week. His company is undergoing a sudden restructuring, brought on by outside events. So this week has been a constant stream of bad news and uncertainty for him.

I imagine there's a certain level of queasiness that goes along with that. I probably shouldn't have made him Indian food for dinner last night. There's certainly an ancient proverb warning against it.

Today should be the last round of announcements. Here's hoping the day turns out all right.

Atmospheric Discharge

I had dinner with Chris in the evening, and we went outside to try and see the Northern Lights, which are supposed to be more energetic than usual this week. Bupkis. But a few hours after we went to bed, the most incredible lightning storm erupted and seemed to stay directly overhead for a while...the lightning flashes and thunder were almost simultaneous. So very cool. Would have been cooler if it wasn't at 3am, but it's hard to schedule these events.
And still enjoying getting to know Chris. It usually takes me a while to warm up to people, preferring to get a sense for how they think and operate first. But he seems to like me. I'm still taking it one day at a time with him, but I'm cautiously optimistic about how things are going. I'm also catching myself smiling at random intervals, which is entirely out of character for me.

Ice Caves

This is sad...a little girl was killed over the weekend by falling ice at the National Park I visited last month up in Washington.

Whirlwind weekend

This weekend was sort of a paradox. Set out to be a relaxing, do-nothing kind of weekend, but actually packed in a decent amount of activity, between gym, hanging out with friends and an afternoon cookout. Yet it was still very relaxing. Not a lot of activity mind you, but enough to qualify as being out and about. The Goldilocks level, I guess.

One thing I've really enjoyed this year has been getting to know Chris' group of immediate friends in town. I'm not a terribly social animal, so making new friends is generally a rare experience. They seem to operate at mroe or less my same speed, low maintenance guys that eschew drama and are perfectly happy just enjoying a summer day together, talking about whatever floats into your head...or just savoring a moment, like a nice day out in the sun. My kind of homos. Drama and gays seem to go hand in hand quite a bit, needing to know everybody's business and discussing it ad nauseam, never really getting any deeper than that outer layer of social gossip. It's refreshing to meet people who are comfortable existing outside of that realm.

With Chris, it's funny...sometimes I wonder if he thinks we're seeing too much of each other, for example by hanging out all weekend. Then he'll make a statement on Sunday night like 'So do you want me to finally get out of your hair?' - he's wondering the same thing about me. I know right? Little things like that are so endearing.

TFSMIF

My first date with Chris was 6 weeks ago today. It's been strange...in that I really never thought I'd have more than a random date here or there with someone...or even let myself do that. And yet here I am, enjoying his company, whether we're alone or with friends, and watching him when he sleeps, and missing him when he's absent, even if he just left 5 minutes ago. I've been going along with this day by day with Chris, and it still is very new and green with him. But I'm starting to realize that I'm onto something here. I'm letting my guard down, and not meter my words, or wonder what thoughts I should share, more than I ever have in the past...it's exciting. In many ways, this feels like my first mature relationship. That may be a strange thing to say given my track record, but this time, we're both going into this with no expectations or preconceived notions of how it should be. And I think that makes all the difference. With Chris, I really feel like I've met someone who respects me for who I am. I don't think I've truly had that before. I can sit with him and and watch some of the most embarassing stuff I put onto my dvr, and he doesn't protest. I can stand there and brood while making dinner after a long day, and he doesn't wig out because there's suddenly a moment of silence. He just grabs a book and lets me be. He actually seems like he might get me. Wow. I'm stoked.

A Few Things

A few random things popped up in the last couple of days, so I'll just roll them all into one post...

- I normally don't shill for other blogs, but Leftover Beef is back in print. Yay!

- Ahem. WHY??? It's like asking someone to throw rocks at you. If it was a Bug, maybe.

- And, it's getting rather hard to deny the evidence for Climate Change that keeps piling up. Darn those pesky facts.

Today

Today, I'm choosing to be happy. One of the things that has taken me a long time to understand is that ultimately, we choose who we are at any given moment. This simple idea has been expressed in many different ways via sayings and maxims that we've all heard umpteen times. But usually, the simplest lessons are the hardest ones to learn. There's a lot of things I could be stressed over at the moment, but as long as I'm doing what I can about them...why worry over them any more than that? I used to spend days agonizing over crap that I had no control over. Maybe it comes from maturity, or finally listening to the advice that I've been seeking and hearing over so many years. But in the past few years, I've noticed a real change in how I handle stressful stimuli and how I let them affect me. Which is to say, not much. And it really pisses people off whose sole purpose was to get under your skin and ruin your day.

Best Made Plans

Dinner went really well last night, had a good time with everyone, and Phineas loved the train set. Sometimes the best plans are ones you throw together at the last minute.
The gas grill naturally decided to run out of gas right as I was throwing a couple of extra burgers on it, so I had to fire up plan B - luckily I still had some charcoal to use. But there was plenty of food to go around, got to introduce Chris to some old friends, and everyone left with a full belly. Good times.

Impromptu

Having a few peeps over for dinner tonight. I'll get to share some decent leftovers from the weekend, and get together with a few friends I haven't seen in a while. And that one guy will be there. I think there's enough food to go around...if not, I have a stash of cookies on standby.

Summer Fun

The weekend was very fun....saw all kinds of people at the party, I didn't know 85% of them, but that's not a bad thing. The weather held, we had more than enough food to go round, nobody passed out or got into a fight...what more could you want?
I got to spend a lot of time hanging with the nephews, and tried getting George to teach me some charm lessons to no avail. but did learn his uber-cool secret handshake. How many 3 year olds have one of those? Honestly.
Upon returning to the cowlands, Chris and I saw that The Kids Are All Right had finally opened in town, so we ran to see that. Excellent film, with great performances and writing. If you want to see a summer film that relies on script instead of explosions or aliens, this is a good candidate. And keep some napkins from the popcorn handy.

Nothing Ventured

This past month has been completely out of left field. I've gone on about it on here, so subscribers know the details. I'm pretty sure I didn't hear anybody tell me in the month of May "I know right now you're going along, doing your own thing. And it's fun, and you're enjoying yourself quite a bit. But you're about to meet someone who is going to change your perspective on a lot of things, and challenge your expectations of people. And here's the best part: he won't want to change you. He'll appreciate you for who you are, warts and all. Be ready, and don't miss it when he comes along."

I wasn't expecting to meet someone who I would start thinking I wanted to pursue something serious with. But here I am. And it's amazing.

Another quote has been kicking around in my head since last night, from Richard Bach "All the people, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose do do with them is up to you." It seems to fit almost perfectly with what I've been feeling the past several days. but this time I think I'm approaching it differently. I'm keeping myself grounded, and not letting my emotions get ahead of me. It feels good, it feels right. Wish me luck.

Dinner and a Movie

Chris invited me over for dinner last night at his place. He made pasta with a tomato garlic sauce and ground turkey mixed in - anyone who knows me will say that the way to my heart is paved with pasta and edged with garlic bread. We then spent the evening taking a walk, going to DQ, and then back home to look through some old family photos and memories...rounding it off with a movie before turning in. Just about perfect. Who says weekday evenings are too short to do anything fun?

Tonight I will be playing the role of Mrs. Fields on a meth binge...about 100 cookies to bake for the party on saturday. I've got about 70 pre made that just need to be tossed in the oven. The remainder I was going to whip up from scratch, but I think time constraints mean I'll be snagging some Toll House dough on the way home.

The Longest Day

Left for work at 7am yesterday, didn't get home until a few clicks before midnight. Ack. Luckily I'm hourly, so this will help defray the costs of my recent trip. I did get an idea while on the road last night to help people doing these long assignments in strange locales...I'm going to run it past a few people to get a little feedback before presenting it.

This weekend is Lindsay and Josh's shower/BBQ. I think the word "Hootenanny" should always be used in conjunction with outdoor events. This is why I seldom get invited back to garden parties.

I've been trying to be more social lately, which for me is unusual...I generally find people tiring after a while (The "I" in all those Myers-Briggs tests expressing itself). But it is fun to step out of your shell now and again and look at life from different angles; become more than the sum of your personality tests, I guess. It reminds me of a quote from a book by Richard Bach:

You are led through your lifetime by the inner learning creature, the playful spiritual being that is your real self. Don't turn away from possible futures before you're certain you don't have anything to learn from them. You're always free to change your mind and choose a different future, or a different past.

Or if you're a Seinfeld fan, just call it "Opposite George". I suppose the sentiment is the same.

Interesting

Chris stopped over Friday night after work. We met up with a few friends to grab dinner and a movie (Inception...go see it) We hadn't seen each other since I'd left for Seattle, and spent the weekend together again. This is getting to be a habit. It's exciting to be with someone who shares a lot of mutual interests, is intellectually stimulating to talk with and fun to be around. I like where this is going.
He asked to make dinner for me this week...I'd better remember my table manners.

Weeknight Road Trip

I decided to break up my routine and go visit friends in Coshocton last night after work. I got there just in time for dinner, then a few drinks and a few tales of my sordid past for those who hadn't yet been indoctrinated. I could write a book, seriously. Well, maybe a pamphlet.
In less shameful developments, Jennifer's son Jack and I busied ourselves with his Star Wars figurines. I think he was surprised to find an old man who actually knew the names of the characters. It's funny to see your childhood memories living on through the eyes of a different child.
And after a long hiatus, I'll get to see my recent obsession again tonight. I can't wait.

Timing

Back to work on Wednesday...the gods of bad timing sent Chris out of town this afternoon on a week long business trip, so won't get to see him until Friday. I'm getting more used to the idea of letting someone into my life - I had more or less written off the entire dating thing, and then suddenly here I am. It's still in that initial phase, when you don't ever fart or eat 3 day old donuts in front of them, so everything is very green and tentative feeling. But he hasn't run off screaming into the night yet, so that's a good sign. We'll see where this all leads. Fingers crossed.

And we're back

Just had the most relaxing vacation of my life...God, where to start?
I got into Seattle late Wednesday afternoon...Mitch met me and another friend of his who came in from Tampa. We went for a few drinks that night, checking out some of the local bars...so many tasty microbrews to be had...yummy. On Thursday we got an early start and went to explore the city. We started off at the Pike Place Market...think of Columbus' North Market multiplied by a factor of ten - very cool. A proper fish and chips was lunch, and then we spent the afternoon visiting the Seattle Art Museum, which had an Andy Warhol exhibit and a really extensive one about Kurt Cobain...very cool, check it out if you're in the area before September. Then an evening at the beach before heading home. On Friday, Mitch, Jeff and I packed up the car and left to go camping up here, which was just incredible...off in the Cascades in the Mt. Baker-Snoqualmie National Forest. I'd never really explored this area until now...it's really hard to describe how beautiful this area is. Many times I'd get choked up walking in the woods, just struck by the sheer beauty of it. And no, I wasn't drunk :) Please visit the Northwest before you die.
The campground is great, some really nice people there...I mentioned to Mitch I'd met more nice people there in the first 3 hours than I'd met in a year in Columbus. Definitely going back. A hard part for me was being cut off, as there's no cell service anywhere near the campground - we'd hoped to get out to dinner Saturday night to a restaurant up the road so we could make a few calls, but we decided not to...besides, we'd lost our signals on the way in long before reaching that place. In modern life it's so uncommon to be out of touch with people who aren't physically there, so it takes a little adjustment to going without the electric security blanket in your pocket. We're so spoiled nowadays.
On Sunday we broke camp and headed back to Seattle for a night on the town for Mitch's 24th birthday. Or 18th anniversary of his 24th...something like that. Very fun evening of dancing and enjoying $2 drafts, and basically terrorizing anyone who got within 10 feet of us....just like the old days. Then a hurried morning scamper to the airport and back home today...er, yesterday.
I can't remember a vacation that was more soothing than this one....with everything that's gone on in the past several months, I've never really had a break or a getaway. This definitely was the perfect prescription.

Wow

Had a seriously fun time this weekend...met up with Mindy for White Trash and Boom friday night, saturday was just spent relaxing and cooking out with Chris...sunday, went to Doo Dah with Chris and met up with several friends where we drank embarrassing amounts of pink lemonade/vodka drinks...good times. Today, Chris and I went hiking out in Clifton Gorge, with lunch in YS and stopping off for the mandatory Young's Dairy ice cream on the way home. Better times.
We weren't planning on it, but Chris and I essentially spent the weekend together.
Thanks to my underachieving sense of self confidence, I'm sitting here now quietly amazed that I wasn't boring him to tears...I guess if I was, he wouldn't have been hanging around. It is something that I'm always having to work on when I'm with new people...I'm anxious about a situation or an activity going well. My mind goes into a sort of self-perpetuating cycle of worrying about whether I have anything interesting to say or contribute, and then trying to pick something to say...then 20 minutes on I realize I've been sitting there doing this silently, and...well, fuck, say something, stupid...okay, um...let me think about what to say. I feel like I can spend entire afternoons doing this. I just need to relax sometimes and enjoy moments for what they are.

A Little Time

Finally a little break is on the horizon. Off all next week, and part of the one after. My old buddy Mitch (he'll hate that, turning 40 and all) offered me use of a free ticket earned thru his accumulated travel miles, so I'm making a trek to Seattle for a few days. 2 days of camping in the Cascades, with the rest spent exploring the Seattle area. Not a lot on the agenda, which is just how I like my vacations. I'm anticipating days spent drinking coffee, eating seafood, and making fun of Seattle hipsters rather than doing anything constructive. Perfect.

Hump Day Revisited

I've learned (to paraphrase Alice Walker) to live frugally on surprise. Expect nothing. This week has definitely been surprising. I had my 3rd date with Chris last night (we counted dates and ticks), and I guess that's the point when you've figured out whether this person has an active brain in their head, so you start probing a bit to see who's in there. Definitely interesting man lurking behind those eyes. Anyone who can switch from discussing character lines on cars to characters in TNG deserves a closer look.
I remember Elaine on Seinfeld describing dating...you're trying to get this little squirrel to come and eat out of your hand; you don't want to make any big sudden moves and frighten them away. It's been so long since I went out with someone that I feel like I'm winging it. Well, I suppose that's what it's all about. Just be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. Deep breaths. And keep your seatbelt on until you've reached a complete stop.

Don't jinx it

This is funny...almost immediately after I posted about the little motherfrakkin groundhog, the garden attacks stopped. The spinach is over a foot high, and I may even get some beans and broccoli out of the garden this week.
And a mystery person put my garbage out last night. Probably the neighbor...maybe he took care of the groundhog with his pellet gun and tossed it in there. Somebody else can look though.

So much to do

My little list of projects that I have yet to address:
- add more attic insulation
- replace gutters (must before winter, I'm afraid more icedams like last winter will do them in completely)
- repaint exterior
- redo crown molding that the neighbor installed incorrectly
- drywall the basement; redo floors
- rip out nasty ass kitchen carpet
- deal with whatever horror lies beneath said carpet

As soon as that winning lottery ticket falls in my hand, this will all be completed.

Litany against fear

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Butterflies

My weekend started off innocently enough...met up with a new friend Chris to go to Comfest friday night. Had a really good time walking around with him, taking in the freak show and talking. We each had friends there, but with the mad crowds, it would have been hard to locate a person who was on fire in all that chaos; I played phone tag with a couple of them, but we never saw each otehr although we were probably only 50 feet apart on a few occasions. At any rate Chris and I just spent the evening meandering. Definitely a good guy - he didn't seem to mind. I certainly didn't.
Saturday, I decided to go home to visit family, Pat and Megan had their new baby, and mom had seemed kinda down lately, so I figured I'd better get up there to see everyone. While I was driving back home, Chris invited me down to Hocking Hills that night - he and some friends were stying down there for a cookout, I figured why not, I really didn't have anything lined up, plus I'd get to see Chris again, which was definitely a bonus. But I had to play it cool, you know.
The weekend took a completely unexpected turn...he and I spent the night in a pup tent, I think he was devious and planned that out. We stayed up until sunrise, just discussing politics...yeah right. Erm, definitely had fun losing sleep that night. The next day was spent just relaxing at the trailer, watching movies and delaying the inevitable drive home. Was actually hard to say goodbye to Chris, after more or less spending the weekend in his company. Weekend definitely didn't turn out how I expected. Now the confusing and exciting mix of emotions and thoughts that enter your head when meeting a new person of interest. Not sure what to make of all of this, it's a little premature to even ask myself questions like that. But you know, there you are, going along in your own life, thinking you have it all figured out, and bam...

Comfestivus

The annual music and kulchur festival not sponsored by Bud Light and Dominion Homes opens this weekend. Good bands, vendors, and people watching abound. Good times.

My nemesis

Fat little jerk...I was keeping him at bay with sprays of cayenne pepper, but in the heat this week, I got lazy and skipped a day. One day. I got home from work, and he'd cleaned out the beans, lettuce, and half of the spinach. I'll just switch to the foods that he won't eat. Hate him. Dearly.

The cost of vanity

I managed to give myself an eye infection over the weekend, well done! I decided to wear my contacts on saturday, because it was completely overcast. Then as soon as I parked to go watch the Pride parade, the clouds began to clear. So, I popped them out and put on my prescription shades, and went about my day.
Later that night, I decided to put them in at home. And here's the best part - the solution in one of the lens cases was discolored, and I still rinsed it off and put it in. Mistake. My vision in that eye became cloudy in about 20 mins, so I figured the contact was dried out...so removed them and went about my evening. I noticed that I was seeing halos and my vision in that eye was a little cloudy, which was worrying...but little I could do then.
I woke up around 4am with the most amazing pain in my left eye, like sand-no, gravel - was stuck under my eyelid. Nothing like a kidney stone, but really not something you want to experience.
Flushing with solution, then pouring water over it did nothing. I whined and fretted for about an hour, then finally went and got a ziploc with ice and placed it over my eye. There...it felt so good I fell asleep with the icebag on for about an hour.
Then when the ice had melted, I was back to square one. This wasn't taking care of itself. I tried calling a few friends to see if someone could drive me to the hospital, but really - who answers their phone at 7am? They assume your'e drunk or calling from the drunk tank. By 8, I realized I'd be sitting all morning waiting for someone to call me back, so I decided to drive myself. The sunlight was excruciating, but I managed to one-eye it to Grant most of the way. I learned that sunday mornings are your best time for an unplanned medical emergency - I was in and out in about 3 hrs. They gave me these amazing numbing drops while there that stopped the pain in about a minute, but sadly they wore off as I was being discharged, and they wouldn't let me take any home - I guess they thought I'd be heating them up in a spoon and injecting them or something. Luckily, the antibiotic drops they prescribed started to clear the infection pretty quickly, and the pain was gone by the end of monday. By wednesday, it was clear again, and I went back to a normal routine.
Gah...never wearing contacts again, the anxiety of that little episode was enough for me.
But as an unexpected bonus...I had wondered recently if I had a sinus infection...my ears seemed a little plugged at times, but not badly enough to seek treatment. Well, the eyedrops draining through my sinuses are apparently clearing those out as they go. My hearing has improved today, and my voice sounds different to me - clearer. So, 2 for 1 at Grant!

200+

Yesterday was the 200th post on here...I hope to make that number increase quickly.
This weekend is Comfest, which I haven't been able to attend for a couple years (see yesterday for why)...this year I'm experiencing a lot of things I haven't done in a while, or even new things - imagine! Hopefully this trend will continue.
As I've gotten older, I've noticed that it's easy to become comfortable in what you've done already, and stop exploring. It's been fun changing that idea lately.
One thing I've accomplished that I'm very proud of is losing all the weight I added over the past several years. All told, around 70lbs. Not sure exactly, because when you start getting up there, you lose interest in stepping on a scale for the bad news. At my peak, I know I was over 200, maybe 210-220. Now I'm back below 150, which is a good weight for me.
And I didn't do anything drastic to lose it, just common sense methods - watching my calorie intake, changing my eating habits, and a little exercise thrown in for good measure. I dropped the first 30 pounds from 2007-2009, and the rest in the last year or so. I know people who are overweight by a similar amount, and they resort to surgery to lose weight - really? You can't just stop buying the cookies and donuts when they're on sale, and eat a salad instead of that bag of chips? You can do it without the expense, risk and complications of gastric bypass surgery. No, it's not easy to change your habits, but it can be done. Just try.

And don't do what this woman did.

10 months

Yes, it has been almost a year...I think I'll start blogging again, if only because it's an outlet that doesn't require 140 words or less, or a link to an Onion article. not that I mind, but it's hard to get into any real depth.
So...much has changed. Yes indeed. Single, after Shaun and I decided to go our separate ways after nearly 7 years of trying to make it work. I can't really speak poorly of him, I was too willing to let him drive things in our relationship. Many times, although I could see the iceberg, I was too willing during the relationship to look the other way on many things. Of course my usual reticence and poor expression/communication skills didn't make things any easier on him. But, less said the better.
Still keeping the house up. I'd love to move, but of course like most of the country, I'm more or less stuck until the housing market improves enough so I at least break even. But that'll only take - what? 10 years? At least the basement work has meant a dry basement for the past year.
Had to get a new (for me) car. The Accord was a wonderful car, but at 6 years old and 100k miles, it wasn't getting any younger. It was in my name, but Shaun needed a car, and I wanted something new anyway. Plus, fighting over a 6 year old car isn't really worth it. I know. Shut up.
It was the first car I've bought since the Legend that I bought at a price point, not walking down and buying the one I wanted. So, my 10k got me a Pontiac Vibe. Not my dream car, but the best of the crop of vehicles I checked out that week. The other contender was a gorgeous red Mazda 6 hatchback...that had an oil leak. Luckily I discovered it while I was test driving it, before I signed anything. The Vibe was sitting at the dealer when I took it back, and that was that.
Overall, can't complain. It looks good, drives pretty well, and gets great mileage - about what my old Civic got. Definitely could have done worse. It'll work for a few years until I can get things paid down and go get something I want again.

Dating and friendship-wise...right now serious dating doesn't seem to be in the cards. Going on a date seems so alien right now, after such a long relationship it's hard to imagine. I've accepted that finding a relationship that works for me is not easy - I have a hard time expressing my emotions, moreso as I've gotten older - fear of rejection? Asperger's Syndrome? My personality quirks and traits make me a difficult person to get to know, and because of that I usually feel alone, which is a self-compounding issue, and can be self defeating at times. I don't think my requirements are really any different than anyone else's. But my slowness to open up I think frustrates people...but then again, many times I've tried to play 'Opposite George' and been up front with my feelings - and it's pushed people away. So...hard to navigate. The few times when I have connected with someone, it seems that I or both of us have settled. Too many times I've settled for a relationship out of fear of being alone.
But now, I'm a little older and (hopefully) wiser, and more comfortable in my skin. One thing I've learned and accepted is that it's better to be alone and content than attached and miserable. It sounds simple, but usually the simple lessons are the hardest. I remember a friend asking me a long time ago what the most important thing was that I knew. Without thinking about it, I responded 'happiness comes from within'. And despite that brief moment of clarity, I'm still struggling with incorporating that ideal 20 years later. But I feel I'm beginning to see the light.
If I've learned one thing, relationships aren't something to compromise on. It's not fair on either person. If that means I'll be alone, then I'll be alone. But I can't let fear of rejection stifle me and force me to become a 40 year old spinster.
I'm not sure where I'm headed, but I know I'm going in the right direction.