10 months

Yes, it has been almost a year...I think I'll start blogging again, if only because it's an outlet that doesn't require 140 words or less, or a link to an Onion article. not that I mind, but it's hard to get into any real depth.
So...much has changed. Yes indeed. Single, after Shaun and I decided to go our separate ways after nearly 7 years of trying to make it work. I can't really speak poorly of him, I was too willing to let him drive things in our relationship. Many times, although I could see the iceberg, I was too willing during the relationship to look the other way on many things. Of course my usual reticence and poor expression/communication skills didn't make things any easier on him. But, less said the better.
Still keeping the house up. I'd love to move, but of course like most of the country, I'm more or less stuck until the housing market improves enough so I at least break even. But that'll only take - what? 10 years? At least the basement work has meant a dry basement for the past year.
Had to get a new (for me) car. The Accord was a wonderful car, but at 6 years old and 100k miles, it wasn't getting any younger. It was in my name, but Shaun needed a car, and I wanted something new anyway. Plus, fighting over a 6 year old car isn't really worth it. I know. Shut up.
It was the first car I've bought since the Legend that I bought at a price point, not walking down and buying the one I wanted. So, my 10k got me a Pontiac Vibe. Not my dream car, but the best of the crop of vehicles I checked out that week. The other contender was a gorgeous red Mazda 6 hatchback...that had an oil leak. Luckily I discovered it while I was test driving it, before I signed anything. The Vibe was sitting at the dealer when I took it back, and that was that.
Overall, can't complain. It looks good, drives pretty well, and gets great mileage - about what my old Civic got. Definitely could have done worse. It'll work for a few years until I can get things paid down and go get something I want again.

Dating and friendship-wise...right now serious dating doesn't seem to be in the cards. Going on a date seems so alien right now, after such a long relationship it's hard to imagine. I've accepted that finding a relationship that works for me is not easy - I have a hard time expressing my emotions, moreso as I've gotten older - fear of rejection? Asperger's Syndrome? My personality quirks and traits make me a difficult person to get to know, and because of that I usually feel alone, which is a self-compounding issue, and can be self defeating at times. I don't think my requirements are really any different than anyone else's. But my slowness to open up I think frustrates people...but then again, many times I've tried to play 'Opposite George' and been up front with my feelings - and it's pushed people away. So...hard to navigate. The few times when I have connected with someone, it seems that I or both of us have settled. Too many times I've settled for a relationship out of fear of being alone.
But now, I'm a little older and (hopefully) wiser, and more comfortable in my skin. One thing I've learned and accepted is that it's better to be alone and content than attached and miserable. It sounds simple, but usually the simple lessons are the hardest. I remember a friend asking me a long time ago what the most important thing was that I knew. Without thinking about it, I responded 'happiness comes from within'. And despite that brief moment of clarity, I'm still struggling with incorporating that ideal 20 years later. But I feel I'm beginning to see the light.
If I've learned one thing, relationships aren't something to compromise on. It's not fair on either person. If that means I'll be alone, then I'll be alone. But I can't let fear of rejection stifle me and force me to become a 40 year old spinster.
I'm not sure where I'm headed, but I know I'm going in the right direction.