This is funny...almost immediately after I posted about the little motherfrakkin groundhog, the garden attacks stopped. The spinach is over a foot high, and I may even get some beans and broccoli out of the garden this week.
And a mystery person put my garbage out last night. Probably the neighbor...maybe he took care of the groundhog with his pellet gun and tossed it in there. Somebody else can look though.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
So much to do
My little list of projects that I have yet to address:
- add more attic insulation
- replace gutters (must before winter, I'm afraid more icedams like last winter will do them in completely)
- repaint exterior
- redo crown molding that the neighbor installed incorrectly
- drywall the basement; redo floors
- rip out nasty ass kitchen carpet
- deal with whatever horror lies beneath said carpet
As soon as that winning lottery ticket falls in my hand, this will all be completed.
- add more attic insulation
- replace gutters (must before winter, I'm afraid more icedams like last winter will do them in completely)
- repaint exterior
- redo crown molding that the neighbor installed incorrectly
- drywall the basement; redo floors
- rip out nasty ass kitchen carpet
- deal with whatever horror lies beneath said carpet
As soon as that winning lottery ticket falls in my hand, this will all be completed.
Litany against fear
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Butterflies
My weekend started off innocently enough...met up with a new friend Chris to go to Comfest friday night. Had a really good time walking around with him, taking in the freak show and talking. We each had friends there, but with the mad crowds, it would have been hard to locate a person who was on fire in all that chaos; I played phone tag with a couple of them, but we never saw each otehr although we were probably only 50 feet apart on a few occasions. At any rate Chris and I just spent the evening meandering. Definitely a good guy - he didn't seem to mind. I certainly didn't.
Saturday, I decided to go home to visit family, Pat and Megan had their new baby, and mom had seemed kinda down lately, so I figured I'd better get up there to see everyone. While I was driving back home, Chris invited me down to Hocking Hills that night - he and some friends were stying down there for a cookout, I figured why not, I really didn't have anything lined up, plus I'd get to see Chris again, which was definitely a bonus. But I had to play it cool, you know.
The weekend took a completely unexpected turn...he and I spent the night in a pup tent, I think he was devious and planned that out. We stayed up until sunrise, just discussing politics...yeah right. Erm, definitely had fun losing sleep that night. The next day was spent just relaxing at the trailer, watching movies and delaying the inevitable drive home. Was actually hard to say goodbye to Chris, after more or less spending the weekend in his company. Weekend definitely didn't turn out how I expected. Now the confusing and exciting mix of emotions and thoughts that enter your head when meeting a new person of interest. Not sure what to make of all of this, it's a little premature to even ask myself questions like that. But you know, there you are, going along in your own life, thinking you have it all figured out, and bam...
Saturday, I decided to go home to visit family, Pat and Megan had their new baby, and mom had seemed kinda down lately, so I figured I'd better get up there to see everyone. While I was driving back home, Chris invited me down to Hocking Hills that night - he and some friends were stying down there for a cookout, I figured why not, I really didn't have anything lined up, plus I'd get to see Chris again, which was definitely a bonus. But I had to play it cool, you know.
The weekend took a completely unexpected turn...he and I spent the night in a pup tent, I think he was devious and planned that out. We stayed up until sunrise, just discussing politics...yeah right. Erm, definitely had fun losing sleep that night. The next day was spent just relaxing at the trailer, watching movies and delaying the inevitable drive home. Was actually hard to say goodbye to Chris, after more or less spending the weekend in his company. Weekend definitely didn't turn out how I expected. Now the confusing and exciting mix of emotions and thoughts that enter your head when meeting a new person of interest. Not sure what to make of all of this, it's a little premature to even ask myself questions like that. But you know, there you are, going along in your own life, thinking you have it all figured out, and bam...
Friday, June 25, 2010
Comfestivus
The annual music and kulchur festival not sponsored by Bud Light and Dominion Homes opens this weekend. Good bands, vendors, and people watching abound. Good times.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
My nemesis
Fat little jerk...I was keeping him at bay with sprays of cayenne pepper, but in the heat this week, I got lazy and skipped a day. One day. I got home from work, and he'd cleaned out the beans, lettuce, and half of the spinach. I'll just switch to the foods that he won't eat. Hate him. Dearly.
The cost of vanity
I managed to give myself an eye infection over the weekend, well done! I decided to wear my contacts on saturday, because it was completely overcast. Then as soon as I parked to go watch the Pride parade, the clouds began to clear. So, I popped them out and put on my prescription shades, and went about my day.
Later that night, I decided to put them in at home. And here's the best part - the solution in one of the lens cases was discolored, and I still rinsed it off and put it in. Mistake. My vision in that eye became cloudy in about 20 mins, so I figured the contact was dried out...so removed them and went about my evening. I noticed that I was seeing halos and my vision in that eye was a little cloudy, which was worrying...but little I could do then.
I woke up around 4am with the most amazing pain in my left eye, like sand-no, gravel - was stuck under my eyelid. Nothing like a kidney stone, but really not something you want to experience.
Flushing with solution, then pouring water over it did nothing. I whined and fretted for about an hour, then finally went and got a ziploc with ice and placed it over my eye. There...it felt so good I fell asleep with the icebag on for about an hour.
Then when the ice had melted, I was back to square one. This wasn't taking care of itself. I tried calling a few friends to see if someone could drive me to the hospital, but really - who answers their phone at 7am? They assume your'e drunk or calling from the drunk tank. By 8, I realized I'd be sitting all morning waiting for someone to call me back, so I decided to drive myself. The sunlight was excruciating, but I managed to one-eye it to Grant most of the way. I learned that sunday mornings are your best time for an unplanned medical emergency - I was in and out in about 3 hrs. They gave me these amazing numbing drops while there that stopped the pain in about a minute, but sadly they wore off as I was being discharged, and they wouldn't let me take any home - I guess they thought I'd be heating them up in a spoon and injecting them or something. Luckily, the antibiotic drops they prescribed started to clear the infection pretty quickly, and the pain was gone by the end of monday. By wednesday, it was clear again, and I went back to a normal routine.
Gah...never wearing contacts again, the anxiety of that little episode was enough for me.
But as an unexpected bonus...I had wondered recently if I had a sinus infection...my ears seemed a little plugged at times, but not badly enough to seek treatment. Well, the eyedrops draining through my sinuses are apparently clearing those out as they go. My hearing has improved today, and my voice sounds different to me - clearer. So, 2 for 1 at Grant!
Later that night, I decided to put them in at home. And here's the best part - the solution in one of the lens cases was discolored, and I still rinsed it off and put it in. Mistake. My vision in that eye became cloudy in about 20 mins, so I figured the contact was dried out...so removed them and went about my evening. I noticed that I was seeing halos and my vision in that eye was a little cloudy, which was worrying...but little I could do then.
I woke up around 4am with the most amazing pain in my left eye, like sand-no, gravel - was stuck under my eyelid. Nothing like a kidney stone, but really not something you want to experience.
Flushing with solution, then pouring water over it did nothing. I whined and fretted for about an hour, then finally went and got a ziploc with ice and placed it over my eye. There...it felt so good I fell asleep with the icebag on for about an hour.
Then when the ice had melted, I was back to square one. This wasn't taking care of itself. I tried calling a few friends to see if someone could drive me to the hospital, but really - who answers their phone at 7am? They assume your'e drunk or calling from the drunk tank. By 8, I realized I'd be sitting all morning waiting for someone to call me back, so I decided to drive myself. The sunlight was excruciating, but I managed to one-eye it to Grant most of the way. I learned that sunday mornings are your best time for an unplanned medical emergency - I was in and out in about 3 hrs. They gave me these amazing numbing drops while there that stopped the pain in about a minute, but sadly they wore off as I was being discharged, and they wouldn't let me take any home - I guess they thought I'd be heating them up in a spoon and injecting them or something. Luckily, the antibiotic drops they prescribed started to clear the infection pretty quickly, and the pain was gone by the end of monday. By wednesday, it was clear again, and I went back to a normal routine.
Gah...never wearing contacts again, the anxiety of that little episode was enough for me.
But as an unexpected bonus...I had wondered recently if I had a sinus infection...my ears seemed a little plugged at times, but not badly enough to seek treatment. Well, the eyedrops draining through my sinuses are apparently clearing those out as they go. My hearing has improved today, and my voice sounds different to me - clearer. So, 2 for 1 at Grant!
200+
Yesterday was the 200th post on here...I hope to make that number increase quickly.
This weekend is Comfest, which I haven't been able to attend for a couple years (see yesterday for why)...this year I'm experiencing a lot of things I haven't done in a while, or even new things - imagine! Hopefully this trend will continue.
As I've gotten older, I've noticed that it's easy to become comfortable in what you've done already, and stop exploring. It's been fun changing that idea lately.
One thing I've accomplished that I'm very proud of is losing all the weight I added over the past several years. All told, around 70lbs. Not sure exactly, because when you start getting up there, you lose interest in stepping on a scale for the bad news. At my peak, I know I was over 200, maybe 210-220. Now I'm back below 150, which is a good weight for me.
And I didn't do anything drastic to lose it, just common sense methods - watching my calorie intake, changing my eating habits, and a little exercise thrown in for good measure. I dropped the first 30 pounds from 2007-2009, and the rest in the last year or so. I know people who are overweight by a similar amount, and they resort to surgery to lose weight - really? You can't just stop buying the cookies and donuts when they're on sale, and eat a salad instead of that bag of chips? You can do it without the expense, risk and complications of gastric bypass surgery. No, it's not easy to change your habits, but it can be done. Just try.
And don't do what this woman did.
This weekend is Comfest, which I haven't been able to attend for a couple years (see yesterday for why)...this year I'm experiencing a lot of things I haven't done in a while, or even new things - imagine! Hopefully this trend will continue.
As I've gotten older, I've noticed that it's easy to become comfortable in what you've done already, and stop exploring. It's been fun changing that idea lately.
One thing I've accomplished that I'm very proud of is losing all the weight I added over the past several years. All told, around 70lbs. Not sure exactly, because when you start getting up there, you lose interest in stepping on a scale for the bad news. At my peak, I know I was over 200, maybe 210-220. Now I'm back below 150, which is a good weight for me.
And I didn't do anything drastic to lose it, just common sense methods - watching my calorie intake, changing my eating habits, and a little exercise thrown in for good measure. I dropped the first 30 pounds from 2007-2009, and the rest in the last year or so. I know people who are overweight by a similar amount, and they resort to surgery to lose weight - really? You can't just stop buying the cookies and donuts when they're on sale, and eat a salad instead of that bag of chips? You can do it without the expense, risk and complications of gastric bypass surgery. No, it's not easy to change your habits, but it can be done. Just try.
And don't do what this woman did.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
10 months
Yes, it has been almost a year...I think I'll start blogging again, if only because it's an outlet that doesn't require 140 words or less, or a link to an Onion article. not that I mind, but it's hard to get into any real depth.
So...much has changed. Yes indeed. Single, after Shaun and I decided to go our separate ways after nearly 7 years of trying to make it work. I can't really speak poorly of him, I was too willing to let him drive things in our relationship. Many times, although I could see the iceberg, I was too willing during the relationship to look the other way on many things. Of course my usual reticence and poor expression/communication skills didn't make things any easier on him. But, less said the better.
Still keeping the house up. I'd love to move, but of course like most of the country, I'm more or less stuck until the housing market improves enough so I at least break even. But that'll only take - what? 10 years? At least the basement work has meant a dry basement for the past year.
Had to get a new (for me) car. The Accord was a wonderful car, but at 6 years old and 100k miles, it wasn't getting any younger. It was in my name, but Shaun needed a car, and I wanted something new anyway. Plus, fighting over a 6 year old car isn't really worth it. I know. Shut up.
It was the first car I've bought since the Legend that I bought at a price point, not walking down and buying the one I wanted. So, my 10k got me a Pontiac Vibe. Not my dream car, but the best of the crop of vehicles I checked out that week. The other contender was a gorgeous red Mazda 6 hatchback...that had an oil leak. Luckily I discovered it while I was test driving it, before I signed anything. The Vibe was sitting at the dealer when I took it back, and that was that.
Overall, can't complain. It looks good, drives pretty well, and gets great mileage - about what my old Civic got. Definitely could have done worse. It'll work for a few years until I can get things paid down and go get something I want again.
Dating and friendship-wise...right now serious dating doesn't seem to be in the cards. Going on a date seems so alien right now, after such a long relationship it's hard to imagine. I've accepted that finding a relationship that works for me is not easy - I have a hard time expressing my emotions, moreso as I've gotten older - fear of rejection? Asperger's Syndrome? My personality quirks and traits make me a difficult person to get to know, and because of that I usually feel alone, which is a self-compounding issue, and can be self defeating at times. I don't think my requirements are really any different than anyone else's. But my slowness to open up I think frustrates people...but then again, many times I've tried to play 'Opposite George' and been up front with my feelings - and it's pushed people away. So...hard to navigate. The few times when I have connected with someone, it seems that I or both of us have settled. Too many times I've settled for a relationship out of fear of being alone.
But now, I'm a little older and (hopefully) wiser, and more comfortable in my skin. One thing I've learned and accepted is that it's better to be alone and content than attached and miserable. It sounds simple, but usually the simple lessons are the hardest. I remember a friend asking me a long time ago what the most important thing was that I knew. Without thinking about it, I responded 'happiness comes from within'. And despite that brief moment of clarity, I'm still struggling with incorporating that ideal 20 years later. But I feel I'm beginning to see the light.
If I've learned one thing, relationships aren't something to compromise on. It's not fair on either person. If that means I'll be alone, then I'll be alone. But I can't let fear of rejection stifle me and force me to become a 40 year old spinster.
I'm not sure where I'm headed, but I know I'm going in the right direction.
So...much has changed. Yes indeed. Single, after Shaun and I decided to go our separate ways after nearly 7 years of trying to make it work. I can't really speak poorly of him, I was too willing to let him drive things in our relationship. Many times, although I could see the iceberg, I was too willing during the relationship to look the other way on many things. Of course my usual reticence and poor expression/communication skills didn't make things any easier on him. But, less said the better.
Still keeping the house up. I'd love to move, but of course like most of the country, I'm more or less stuck until the housing market improves enough so I at least break even. But that'll only take - what? 10 years? At least the basement work has meant a dry basement for the past year.
Had to get a new (for me) car. The Accord was a wonderful car, but at 6 years old and 100k miles, it wasn't getting any younger. It was in my name, but Shaun needed a car, and I wanted something new anyway. Plus, fighting over a 6 year old car isn't really worth it. I know. Shut up.
It was the first car I've bought since the Legend that I bought at a price point, not walking down and buying the one I wanted. So, my 10k got me a Pontiac Vibe. Not my dream car, but the best of the crop of vehicles I checked out that week. The other contender was a gorgeous red Mazda 6 hatchback...that had an oil leak. Luckily I discovered it while I was test driving it, before I signed anything. The Vibe was sitting at the dealer when I took it back, and that was that.
Overall, can't complain. It looks good, drives pretty well, and gets great mileage - about what my old Civic got. Definitely could have done worse. It'll work for a few years until I can get things paid down and go get something I want again.
Dating and friendship-wise...right now serious dating doesn't seem to be in the cards. Going on a date seems so alien right now, after such a long relationship it's hard to imagine. I've accepted that finding a relationship that works for me is not easy - I have a hard time expressing my emotions, moreso as I've gotten older - fear of rejection? Asperger's Syndrome? My personality quirks and traits make me a difficult person to get to know, and because of that I usually feel alone, which is a self-compounding issue, and can be self defeating at times. I don't think my requirements are really any different than anyone else's. But my slowness to open up I think frustrates people...but then again, many times I've tried to play 'Opposite George' and been up front with my feelings - and it's pushed people away. So...hard to navigate. The few times when I have connected with someone, it seems that I or both of us have settled. Too many times I've settled for a relationship out of fear of being alone.
But now, I'm a little older and (hopefully) wiser, and more comfortable in my skin. One thing I've learned and accepted is that it's better to be alone and content than attached and miserable. It sounds simple, but usually the simple lessons are the hardest. I remember a friend asking me a long time ago what the most important thing was that I knew. Without thinking about it, I responded 'happiness comes from within'. And despite that brief moment of clarity, I'm still struggling with incorporating that ideal 20 years later. But I feel I'm beginning to see the light.
If I've learned one thing, relationships aren't something to compromise on. It's not fair on either person. If that means I'll be alone, then I'll be alone. But I can't let fear of rejection stifle me and force me to become a 40 year old spinster.
I'm not sure where I'm headed, but I know I'm going in the right direction.
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